pen caps

There have been considerable lamentations of late about pens and caps. I sympathize and wish to offer solace and remedies. In preparation, I conducted a quick search for "pen caps" and "blogs" and discovered many interesting sites.

1. Somebody who has designed eating utensils that incorporate pens caps so they fit onto Bic pens — presumably so you have a full set of cutlery in your top drawer.
2. A video of guys throwing pens and caps so one lands on the other. Basically the ballpoint pen version of trick shots.
3. A medical journal article describing the removal of inhaled pen caps from children using rigid bronchoscopy. No: this was not a control/treatment experiment.
4. A discussion about changes in pen cap design in the future (or made larger as a by-product of time traveling).
5. Several others that include the same images as in #1.

Suffice it to say that pen capping is not an isolated concern and is probably deserving of attention. I was even surprised to discover that Nirvana recorded a song called "Pen Cap Chew" which, not surprisingly, never contains "pen cap" in the lyrics. Now, I have three offerings to make for the pained and stained reader (and his long-suffering family and colleagues).

FIRST.

Clothing stains are a solvable problem, even when traveling. Proctor & Gamble even sells an "instant stain remover" that you might be surprised to discover that your roommate had in his shaving kit. It has been well-received and seems to perform as promised. Admittedly, its effectiveness and longevity will be reduced if one fails to put the cap back on this "laundry pen."

SECOND.

Decent fountain pens exist that have overcome the mess of dipping the nib into the well and making sure the ink is of the proper viscosity. Of course, purists and those who are "green" may object to the notion of a disposable fountain pen. But the one sold by Pilot is pretty good. Some folks use them for everyday writing; I keep a couple around for those rare occasions where I need to sign a document with a flourish. Once again, their utility will shrink in direct proportion to the failure to replace the pen cap.

THIRD.
Pens must be treated with respect. Admittedly, retractable pens have added blotches to the thighs of a couple pair of my jeans. It wasn't because I fiddled with them but because, in sitting down, the ink dispensing portion pushed free of its housing and the ink pooled like the blood from the handiwork of an assassin, ala Jason Bourne. And I carry the guilt of puncturing a guy's front seat because I was carrying a pencil in my back pocket. The lesson is that it all comes down to vigilance and care. The man who produced this thatched room did so to create a cap for the pig pen. Even if he had used the right materials and carried vast experience and credentials, if he failed to pay attention and allowed lapses in concentration to occur, there is nothing that can be done. Use a pencil, buy a fancy fountain pen, do whatever you feel is right. But you and your science pants are doomed if you can't find ways to quit your fidgeting.