Thursday, December 9

why educators make for bad epidemiologists

I have had the flu for about a week and I am ready to be done with it. Admittedly, I ignored plenty of opportunities to be vaccinated. I should know better. But then again, I am more of an educator than a scientist. It is quite comical that I rely upon the former as a resource to deal with the mess in my body.

When I google immune response flu virus, the scientific sites are full of useful information. For example, the flu virus causes cells in the respiratory tract to die which in turn causes “impaired function of the mucus elevator.” I will allow the reader to imagine taking that elevator to the conference space.

Many of us know the fallacy of the four humor theory of health. No, this isn’t a taxonomy of ways to be funny. But if it was, I would nominate the following: sarcasm, self-deprecation, word play and pratfalls. Instead, this ancient theory suggest that our bodies consist of four liquids that must be in balance. When they are not, that is when we are sick. Not sure why the Greeks were so into two forms of bile, phlegm and blood. All I can say is that using Nyquil to balance out the green humor is not really a cure.

My strategy has been to use educational principles to rid my body of this illness. In the process, I ignore the fact that viruses exist. Instead my own body is the student body. Yesterday, my strategy was to create stimuli that would make my body believe it was healthy. Rather than drag out of bed and mope about, I arose, promptly took a shower, got dressed and began typing. My intent was to switch off my body’s ill-behavior (including that cursed mucus elevator) by re-booting with a healthful, working routine. I was back in bed by 10:30 a.m.

Today, I went for the workingman lesson plan. First, breakfast: an egg and toast, orange juice, coffee, and a flip through the first section of the paper. Then, composing feedback and sending emails. It is working a little better since it’s almost 11 a.m. and I haven’t gone back to bed. Then again, I haven’t shaved and I’m still wearing the same clothes I put on after yesterday’s shower.

I expect I will continue with the line of treatment. This afternoon, I will venture out for the first time since last Friday. I’m going to the university to retrieve an interlibrary loan book. Maybe that will make my body believe it is ready to act like a professor on sabbatical. If nothing else, by keeping at this I am confident that eventually my educationalist ways will beat this illness.