Yes, this is the "oh my he just realized he's getting old" entry. During an otherwise exhilarating bike ride around the rock and sand of south/west Utah, our guide commented upon my sunglasses. Having worn prescription eyeglasses since I was three years old, I never really get into the groove of buying sunglasses. The clip-on type, even with the strong magnets, were about as satisfying as clip-on ties. When a national fishing and hunting store advertised sportsman sunglasses that fit around eyeglasses, I was intrigued. Once I learned they could be outfitted with polarized lenses, I was ready to buy.
The Cocoons have to be larger than the cool sunglasses most people wear. Quite obviously, they must accommodate the size of the eyeglasses that remain underneath (see picture). My brother (only 5 years my junior but refusing to believe he is aging, loves to mock these frames. But dammit, they do a great job of both shielding my sensitive eyes from painful glare AND letting me focus upon my surroundings.
Back to our guide: she was trying to be sweet and complementary by remarking upon my sunglasses. But then she bumbled and said it might be worth telling her father about them. I caught her: "Why, because he's old, too?" Before she could repair her comment, the young couple stepped in — actually stepping into it — by suggesting that they've seen lots of people on in Florida wearing such sunglasses.
Doctor Zero would have been a complete gentleman had he kept his opinion to himself. The old guy was already wheezing from the altitude and exertion. And yet, even though he let this moment pass, he couldn't resist patting himself on the back a couple of days later. He recounted the whole incident and proudly explained that he avoided the obvious opportunity to pile more insult onto the humiliation. So in the end, he couldn't completely let it go. We'll see who gets the last laugh when senior discounts are offered at the local brewhouse. I just hitched up my long pants and pedaled away.
