There has been a stretch of unsupportive feedback over the past few weeks. First, I lost a modest grant proposal – and it received a low rating. Second, a piece being revised for a major journal did not meet with their expectations — the final disposition is in and it is a clear rejection. Third, I thought I was just one correction away from IRB approval — but just days before the summer session begins, they want a complete and un-exempted proposal. Each of these negative decisions directly targets the quality of my writing. By extension, these also bring into doubt the strengths of my thought processes.
The little distance created by the passage of time reveals the germ of truth under these three instances of thumbs-down judgments. I had told myself the grant application was a long-shot and that persistence and pugnaciousness appeared to be the formula for success. There was only so much I could provide to the journal editor and reviewers and it was fundamentally impossible to demonstrate that the five young women who provided such compelling stories were not special. Maybe I do have to concede, as indicated by one reviewer, that this was simply an exploratory study. And the IRB review was accurate but badly timed. Their care was appreciated but not at the eleventh hour.
One after the other, the erosion of ego accumulated. Not taking any of personally is the logical approach. To be fair, the rejections were kindly worded and all acknowledged the effort expended on all of the tasks. But in the final calculations, no matter how admirable my exertions, the work products were not sufficient. No funding this time, no publication in the targeted journal, and a scramble to re-cast the IRB application onto a new form. All manageable and none of it dire. More than just annoying though because I stumbled on three hurdles in quick succession.
Then I received a most conscientious message that has helped immeasurably with the healing process. It spoke admirably of my constitution. But it also offered sage and cautious advice about what lies ahead on our path. Exertion, altitude, and equipment in considerable quantities offer challenges that cannot be avoided. The key: proper
preparation. Truth is, I had purchased a replacement pair of trail shoes. Like their predecessors, they are low, light and dependable. But against high-altitude, rocky passes and a long haul, I realized that my new treads might be better as my post-hiking footwear each day. In my closet are two pair of decent hiking boots. Both sets are broken in but not in the least bit old. The dilemma is that one pair is clunky and best for heavy wet snow — and trudges from a parking garage to an office. The other pair is preferred because it is less like wearing bricks. The question is not whether the selected, Sol Fun endorsed trail runners will suffice — because they won't. The question, is which of the existing footwear options is as supportive of the ankles as my buddy is of my well-being. Right now, the ego is intact and there is no need to continue with my personal pity party.
The little distance created by the passage of time reveals the germ of truth under these three instances of thumbs-down judgments. I had told myself the grant application was a long-shot and that persistence and pugnaciousness appeared to be the formula for success. There was only so much I could provide to the journal editor and reviewers and it was fundamentally impossible to demonstrate that the five young women who provided such compelling stories were not special. Maybe I do have to concede, as indicated by one reviewer, that this was simply an exploratory study. And the IRB review was accurate but badly timed. Their care was appreciated but not at the eleventh hour.
One after the other, the erosion of ego accumulated. Not taking any of personally is the logical approach. To be fair, the rejections were kindly worded and all acknowledged the effort expended on all of the tasks. But in the final calculations, no matter how admirable my exertions, the work products were not sufficient. No funding this time, no publication in the targeted journal, and a scramble to re-cast the IRB application onto a new form. All manageable and none of it dire. More than just annoying though because I stumbled on three hurdles in quick succession.
Then I received a most conscientious message that has helped immeasurably with the healing process. It spoke admirably of my constitution. But it also offered sage and cautious advice about what lies ahead on our path. Exertion, altitude, and equipment in considerable quantities offer challenges that cannot be avoided. The key: proper
preparation. Truth is, I had purchased a replacement pair of trail shoes. Like their predecessors, they are low, light and dependable. But against high-altitude, rocky passes and a long haul, I realized that my new treads might be better as my post-hiking footwear each day. In my closet are two pair of decent hiking boots. Both sets are broken in but not in the least bit old. The dilemma is that one pair is clunky and best for heavy wet snow — and trudges from a parking garage to an office. The other pair is preferred because it is less like wearing bricks. The question is not whether the selected, Sol Fun endorsed trail runners will suffice — because they won't. The question, is which of the existing footwear options is as supportive of the ankles as my buddy is of my well-being. Right now, the ego is intact and there is no need to continue with my personal pity party. 