running low

Among all who attended the recent meeting, a common thread was the challenges associated with balancing myriad demands. Perhaps this is because life in general is busy. Or maybe the world of education and/or academia is sufficiently demanding. If the latter is true, it is probably because we have some many opportunities along with so much control over that which we choose. A friend at work nominated this as "agency." I have had other jobs where the pressure was low and the boredom was high. Now, on the busiest of days, I wish I was back in Missouri holding a hose and watering trees -- even though I remember standing there dying to be done so I can finally take my place at the front of a classroom.

I have begun to wonder whether those at the meeting were from a special segment of the population that finds itself over-extended. In noble moments it may be that we are among those whose dedication and devotion is so strong that we have a difficult time being complacent because some task needs to be completed. On the other hand, maybe it is hard to sit still and enjoy what surrounds us. It's almost as if we treat relaxation as a curse or a sign of immorality.

In the relative calm and peace of a darkened house, even as my body gives in, first to a virus and now to NyQuil, I realize that I have run out of steam and ink. Intellectually I recognize when my peers have over-extended themselves and emotionally I feel torn about not knowing how to help. But for now, the micro-biological part of my life has taken control.